Light By The Lantern
by dutchtulips
Summary: (alias mrs~*~kenobi) another of my ami/obi fics. haven't done one in a while, so enjoy! :)


Light By The Lantern

by dutch_tulips

SD - Star Wars belongs to George Lucas.

AN - Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. . . .I've written a new SW fic! it's been a long while since I have. well, I'm doing this one in a different perspective than my previous Ami/Obi fics. . .(but it's still the Ami/Obi post Anakin's turn drama fic, as always. . .) and I have written a SW fic in awhile so if it's sounds different than my other stuff, those are the reasons why. OK, and I'm politically incorrect, I know her name is Padmé Amidala, but I still say 'Amidala'. and I also know she becomes the senator of Naboo, but I still mentioned 'Queen' a couple of times.

~*~

__

Light By The Lantern

- dutch_tulips -

~*~

A warm zephyr wafted through the Palace gazebo and fluttered the wildflowers and tall grasses surrounding it. In the gazebo, senator and queen Amidala sat, elbows resting on her knees. Listening to the crickets chirp, she let out a long breath. Was it from exhaustion, stress, mourn, or anger - what did it matter now?

Amidala felt nothing. She could not remember a previous time when her soul felt so empty. All her life she'd had reason. She'd had passion. Whether it was fighting for her homeworld of Naboo, working hard within the Galactic senate, and even - being the wife of Anakin Skywalker - Amidala always had a core in her life. Now, this was no longer so.

She tapped her fingertips together as she glanced around the desolate gazebo. The light from the lanterns dimly filled the otherwise dark areas, a sight that Amidala felt partially comforting. _At least some dark space is getting the brightness it deserves_, she thought to herself.

It was then that Obi-Wan Kenobi stepped from the shadows and over the threshold of the dim gazebo. Without a word, he walked towards Amidala, the wooden summerhouse floor squeaking under his boots. Sitting down next to her on the bench, Obi-Wan was silent.

They sat next to each other for a time, watching the flickering lanterns and the tall grasses wave in the wind. Amidala, who was still sitting with her elbows on her knees, tapping her fingertips together and watching the wildflowers, took in an audible breath and let it out slowly. Softly, she began to speak.

"All my life, I tried to be a leader. I mean, I _was_, I - I stood up for my people. I did anything and everything to ensure their well-being. I even put my life on the line a few times. It was always other people I was living for, never myself as well," she paused, taking in another breath.

"But, it all changed when Anakin and I had fallen in love. We cared about each other so much." Obi-Wan, who had been attentively listening, now turned to look at her. Amidala continued to stare straight ahead as she spoke.

"Suddenly - I was living for myself. I was doing things for me - not for everyone. It was so strange for me to suddenly have a private life. To have a romance. And, as Anakin's and my relationship grew deeper, I became more and more emotionally dependent on him. I had a personal life now, like I said, and - Anakin was it."

Amidala took a few more deep breaths. As Obi-Wan watched her, he realized it was because she was trying not to start crying. Amidala's voice, which had been growing stronger, dropped soft again. 

"So, when he and I began to fall apart, so did my life. Anakin took everything from me. I had leaned on him so long and so much that I couldn't get back to the way I used to be before he came along. He gave me the strength to be myself, you know? And now, I look back on everything I've lived for, and I realize that it's all crumbled. My realm of Naboo is dying, and Anakin is gone forever. My whole life has been worthless."

Obi-Wan put a gentle hand on Amidala's red chiffon covered shoulder. "No, it hasn't, Amidala. Think of when Naboo _was_ happy, and peaceful. _You're _the one who made it possible."

"But this war - this invasion - Naboo will not outlast it, Obi-Wan. I know that for a fact. Soon, it will just be a memory. Nothing less, nothing more." She clenched her hands in defeat. "Everything I've worked for is over. Everything I've done has been pointless. And Anakin's and my marriage is over, so I have nothing to fall back on. I have nothing left to lose."

"Amidala. . .you may feel as if everything has been for nothing, but you're forgetting yourself. Luke and Leia - safely tucked away - are the new hope for the universe. Maybe it will be a long while before they will make our worlds happy again, but I promise you, it will happen. And you helped make it possible. They are your children. And one day, when they have made this all a wonderful place again - you will know that, in someway, you helped," Obi-Wan told her.

"I can only pray to the Gods that you are correct, Obi-Wan," she whispered. Amidala was silent for a long moment, then spoke once more.

"I don't know why I insisted that you bring me back here. It's very dangerous. Maybe, I guess, I just wanted to grasp my good, joyful memories here, and remember what I was to my people - and to Anakin, and what he was to me. I really just wanted to see my planet one last time. I don't want to leave it behind," Amidala's voice started to break.

Obi-Wan wrapped a protective arm around her. "I understand, Amidala. More than you may first think. And - just try to remember that, at one moment in time, the universe _was_ happy - and will be again. It wasn't always like, well, like, it has become. Just try to remember the good time you and Anakin had together, not the bad. And seeing your planet a peaceful place, not under chaos. Plant it deep in yourself, that - all is not lost."

Amidala sniffled and looked up at him.. ". . .That means a lot to me, Obi-Wan. Thank you."

"Anything," Obi-Wan smiled. ". . .You're my greatest friend, and one of the most gracious, caring, and compassionate people that anyone has ever known."

Amidala hugged him. "Thank you. Thank you for being here for me." She released her embrace and they were quiet again. Finally, Obi-Wan broke the silence.

"I think maybe. . .we should leave. . .while it's still safe," he said softly.

Amidala nodded in understanding and wobbly stood up. Also standing, Obi-Wan put his arm around her waist for support. He blew out the lanterns, and slowly they exited the gazebo and started up the path. 

__

Obi-Wan is right, she thought to herself. _One day things will be right again, whether I'm still around or not to see them. And Luke and Leia will being helping to make it possible. I can feel that as deeply as Obi-Wan. _

Although everything is crumbling around me, and Anakin has gone forever, the universe will regain itself again. And I'll know that I did everything that I could. Amidala even let a smile find its way on her face, and as one last, final thought, _I love you, Luke and Leia. Godspeed to you. And Gods, please watch over my children. They are the universe's last hope._

****

- el fin -


End file.
